WHAT IS A CO-DEPENDENT?
-The answer is easy, they are some of the most living, caring people I know –Lonny Owen
CO-DEPENDENCY- It’s a problem and recovering from it feels better than not. E.g. Picture a fire and think how it could have started (a match, intentional, electrical fault, etc.) The fire is not over when the fire truck leaves. There can be extensive repairs and it can be quite frustrating. A fire smoulders for a long time before it bursts into flames. A fire smoulders quietly and dangerously before it become apparent.
A CO-DEPENDENT Is a person who has let someone else’s behaviour affect him/her and is obsessed with controlling other’s behaviour.
What is a Co-dependent?
Co-dependents justify the severity of the situation by saying:
It is normal for parents to have fears and doubts about their abilities. After all, we are only human. No one was taught to be parents, even though these skills are important. However: If you continue to make excuses for the addict’s behaviour, they will not learn from their mistakes. Minimizing and rationalising the addict’s behaviour, you enable the person to continue to use. Love alone will not protect children from drugs/alcohol addiction. “I would rather let my son use at home, where I know that he will be safe” and “Do not use the money on drugs” becomes a desperate way for some parents to try to control the son’s addiction. Very few parents carry out the threats that they make, and this allows the addict to path for even more manipulative ways. Fear eventually become the order of the day, and this leads to depression and frustration. Many times, the co-dependent, is not aggressive, always trying to sort of differences, gentle, protective and tries to cover up wrong-doings. The fact that some people actually feel that their son/daughter is not on such ‘hard-core’ drugs becomes the justification for allowing them to still use. (Finally belief system), Nothing can be further from the truth.
Generally, if you’re feeling unfulfilled consistently in relationships, you tend to be indirect, don’t assert yourself when tou have a need, if you’re able to recognize you don’t play so much as others, or others people point out you could be more playful. Things like this can indicate you’re co-dependent.
What are some of the symptoms?
There are some natural and healthy behaviour mothers do with children that look like co-dependency. Are people mutually interdependent on each other? Yes. There is perhaps a continuum of co-dependency, which most people might fall on. Maybe this continuum exists because so many people are taught not to be assertive, or to ask directly for their needs to be met? We probably can’t say though that everyone is co-dependent. Many people probably don’t feel fulfilled because of other things going on in the system in large. Anne Wilson Scheaf believes the whole society is addicted; the object of addiction isn’t the important issue, but rather that the environment sets us up to be addicted to something, i.e. food, sex, drugs, power, etc… If that is true, then all of us are either addicts or co-dependents. From this perspective, society produces a pattern making it hard not to be co-dependent. But it still doesn’t change that we’re not getting what we need are we’re not feeling fulfilled. Then the question is, how do I become more fulfilled and feel better about myself and the life I’m living?
Codependency is when a person has a strong desire to control people around them, including their spouse, children or co-workers. Codependents believe they are somehow more capable than others, who need their direction or suggestions to fulfill tasks they are responsible to complete. They feel compassion for people who may be hurting and feel they should be the one to help them. Codependent people give of their time, emotions, finances, and other resources. They have a very difficult time saying “no” to any requests made of them.
Codependency, for others, doesn’t express itself in a desire to control, but instead, in the need to be controlled by others. Because it is nearly impossible for Codependents to say “no” to people, they may find themselves the victims in physically and emotionally abusive relationships. They believe that if they can be good enough, or loving enough, they can change the other person’s behavior. They sometimes blame themselves for the abusive behavior: “If only I had not forgotten to do the dishes, he would not have had to hit me.”
Codependency causes internal struggles with the opinions of others. Codependents may make decisions based on what they think other people want them to do. While they may believe that their motive for helping people is compassion, in reality they are doing it because they want love or approval. They may come to recognize the underlying nature of their behavior when they become hurt or angry at people they have helped who didn’t return the same amount of help, love, or appreciation when they themselves were in need. They have difficulty understanding that instead of helping others by providing things they need, they may actually be hurting them by creating a dependent relationship.
Codependency can also cause struggles in the area of time management. Codependents may feel they never have enough time to fulfill all of their commitments because they have made too many. The most important commitments and relationships are often neglected because they are too busy helping other people, participating in multiple activities, and running from one event to another throughout the week. This also relates to their inability to say “no” when asked to volunteer, attend a function, or help a friend. The idea of not volunteering, not helping or not attending is unthinkable. They may believe they are not being responsible, not being a good friend, or not being a good person if they refuse any requests. However, many of those situations and relationships leave them feeling hurt, angry, or resentful.
It’s widely believed we become co-dependent through living in systems (families) with rules that hinder development to some degree. The system (usually parents and relatives) has been developed in response to some problems such as alcoholism, mental illness or some others secret or problem.
General rules set-up within families that may causes co-dependency may include:
Many families have one or more of these rules in place within the family. These kinds of rules can constrict and strain the free and healthy development of people’s self-esteem, and coping. As a result, children can develop non-helpful behaviour characteristics, problems solving techniques, and reactions to situations in adult life.
You may be disappointed if you fall, but you are doomed if you don’t try – Beverly Sills Oftentimes, a part of being co-dependent is a resistance to being able to HAVE FUN AND PLAY! 😉 So part of recovery from co-dependency is learning how to let go and have fun. Therefore it’s bound to be liberating, and fun as we learn how to let go and play.
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Chronic relapsers are those clients that may have have been in multiple treatments, they have had long periods of recovery, they know the lingo, the tools and the “Program”, but they can’t seem to stay clean and sober. We have designed a special program for these clients
People who have substance use disorders as well as mental health disorders are diagnosed as having co-occurring disorders, or dual disorders. This is also sometimes called a dual diagnosis.
Dual diagnosis is the term used when a person has a mood disorder such as depression or bipolar disorder (also known as manic depression) and a problem with alcohol or drugs. A person who has a dual diagnosis has two separate illnesses, and each illness needs its own treatment plan.
Chronic relapsers are clients that may have been in multiple treatments, they have had long periods of recovery, they know the lingo, the tools, and “The Program”, but they can’t seem to stay clean and sober. … They don’t forfeit their recovery because they drank or used again.
In many instances treatment programs only focus on the primary treatment phase of the treatment program and hope at best that the recovering person will manage to recover and maintain sobriety by attending self-help support groups. This is part of the mistake that leads to chronic relapsing.
Problem gambling is usually being referred to as “gambling addiction” or “compulsive gambling”) is an urge to gamble continuously despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. Problem gambling is often defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others, rather than by the gambler’s behaviour. Severe problem gambling may be diagnosed as clinical pathological gambling if the gambler meets certain criteria. Pathological gambling is a common disorder that is associated with both social and family costs. The DSM-5 has re-classified the condition as an addictive disorder, with sufferers exhibiting many similarities to those who have substance addictions. The term gambling addiction has long been used in the recovery movement. Pathological gambling was long considered by the American Psychiatric Association to be an impulse control disorder rather than an addiction, however, data suggest a closer relationship between pathological gambling and substance use disorders than exists between Problem Gambling and obsessive-compulsive disorder, largely because the behaviors in problem gambling and most primary substance use disorders (i.e., those not resulting from a desire to “self-medicate” for another condition such as depression) seek to activate the brain’s reward mechanisms while the behaviors characterizing obsessive-compulsive disorder are prompted by overactive and misplaced signals from the brain’s fear mechanisms.
Process addictions are a form of behavioral addiction that is typically associated with obsessive or compulsive behavior.
Gambling, sexual addiction, eating disorders, and addiction surrounding your jobs or hobbies
(even Facebook) are all common types of process addictions.
Overview
Bipolar disorder, also known as manic-depressive illness, is a brain disorder that causes unusual shifts in mood, energy, activity levels, and the ability to carry out day-to-day tasks.
There are four basic types of bipolar disorder; all of them involve clear changes in mood, energy, and activity levels. These moods range from periods of extremely “up,” elated, and energized behavior (known as manic episodes) to very sad, “down,” or hopeless periods (known as depressive episodes). Less severe manic periods are known as hypomanic episodes.
Signs and Symptoms
People with bipolar disorder experience periods of unusually intense emotion, changes in sleep patterns and activity levels, and unusual behaviors. These distinct periods are called “mood episodes.” Mood episodes are drastically different from the moods and behaviors that are typical for the person. Extreme changes in energy, activity, and sleep go along with mood episodes.
People having a manic episode may: People having a depressive episode may:
People having a depressive episode may:
Sometimes a mood episode includes symptoms of both manic and depressive symptoms. This is called an episode with mixed features. People experiencing an episode with mixed features may feel very sad, empty, or hopeless, while at the same time feeling extremely energized.
Bipolar disorder can be present even when mood swings are less extreme. For example, some people with bipolar disorder experience hypomania, a less severe form of mania. During a hypomanic episode, an individual may feel very good, be highly productive, and function well. The person may not feel that anything is wrong, but family and friends may recognize the mood swings and/or changes in activity levels as possible bipolar disorder. Without proper treatment, people with hypomania may develop severe mania or depression.
Diagnosis
Proper diagnosis and treatment help people with bipolar disorder lead healthy and productive lives. Talking with a doctor or other licensed mental health professional is the first step for anyone who thinks he or she may have bipolar disorder. The doctor can complete a physical exam to rule out other conditions. If the problems are not caused by other illnesses, the doctor may conduct a mental health evaluation or provide a referral to a trained mental health professional, such as a psychiatrist, who is experienced in diagnosing and treating bipolar disorder.
Bipolar Disorder and Other Illnesses
Some bipolar disorder symptoms are similar to other illnesses, which can make it hard for a doctor to make a diagnosis. In addition, many people have bipolar disorder along with another illness such as anxiety disorder, substance abuse, or an eating disorder. People with bipolar disorder are also at higher risk for thyroid disease, migraine headaches, heart disease, diabetes, obesity, and other physical illnesses.
Psychosis: Sometimes, a person with severe episodes of mania or depression also has psychotic symptoms, such as hallucinations or delusions. The psychotic symptoms tend to match the person’s extreme mood. For example:
As a result, people with bipolar disorder who also have psychotic symptoms are sometimes misdiagnosed with schizophrenia.
Anxiety and ADHD: Anxiety disorders and attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) are often diagnosed among people with bipolar disorder.
Substance Abuse: People with bipolar disorder may also misuse alcohol or drugs, have relationship problems, or perform poorly in school or at work. Family, friends and people experiencing symptoms may not recognize these problems as signs of a major mental illness such as bipolar disorder
Risk Factors
Scientists are studying the possible causes of bipolar disorder. Most agree that there is no single cause. Instead, it is likely that many factors contribute to the illness or increase risk.
Brain Structure and Functioning: Some studies show how the brains of people with bipolar disorder may differ from the brains of healthy people or people with other mental disorders. Learning more about these differences, along with new information from genetic studies, helps scientists better understand bipolar disorder and predict which types of treatment will work most effectively.
Genetics: Some research suggests that people with certain genes are more likely to develop bipolar disorder than others. But genes are not the only risk factor for bipolar disorder. Studies of identical twins have shown that even if one twin develops bipolar disorder, the other twin does not always develop the disorder, despite the fact that identical twins share all of the same genes.
Family History: Bipolar disorder tends to run in families. Children with a parent or sibling who has bipolar disorder are much more likely to develop the illness, compared with children who do not have a family history of the disorder. However, it is important to note that most people with a family history of bipolar disorder will not develop the illness.
Treatments and Therapies
Treatment helps many people—even those with the most severe forms of bipolar disorder—gain better control of their mood swings and other bipolar symptoms. An effective treatment plan usually includes a combination of medication and psychotherapy (also called “talk therapy”). Bipolar disorder is a lifelong illness. Episodes of mania and depression typically come back over time. Between episodes, many people with bipolar disorder are free of mood changes, but some people may have lingering symptoms. Long-term, continuous treatment helps to control these symptoms.
Medications
Different types of medications can help control symptoms of bipolar disorder. An individual may need to try several different medications before finding ones that work best.
Medications generally used to treat bipolar disorder include:
Anyone taking medication should:
Psychotherapy
When done in combination with medication, psychotherapy (also called “talk therapy”) can be an effective treatment for bipolar disorder. It can provide support, education, and guidance to people with bipolar disorder and their families. Some psychotherapy treatments used to treat bipolar disorder include:
Other Treatment Options
Electroconvulsive Therapy (ECT): ECT can provide relief for people with severe bipolar disorder who have not been able to recover with other treatments. Sometimes ECT is used for bipolar symptoms when other medical conditions, including pregnancy, make taking medications too risky. ECT may cause some short-term side effects, including confusion, disorientation, and memory loss. People with bipolar disorder should discuss possible benefits and risks of ECT with a qualified health professional.
Sleep Medications: People with bipolar disorder who have trouble sleeping usually find that treatment is helpful. However, if sleeplessness does not improve, a doctor may suggest a change in medications. If the problem continues, the doctor may prescribe sedatives or other sleep medications.
Supplements: Not much research has been conducted on herbal or natural supplements and how they may affect bipolar disorder.
It is important for a doctor to know about all prescription drugs, over-the-counter medications, and supplements a client is taking. Certain medications and supplements taken together may cause unwanted or dangerous effects.
Keeping a Life Chart: Even with proper treatment, mood changes can occur. Treatment is more effective when a client and doctor work closely together and talk openly about concerns and choices. Keeping a life chart that records daily mood symptoms, treatments, sleep patterns, and life events can help clients and doctors track and treat bipolar disorder most effectively.
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Schizophrenia is a chronic brain disorder that affects about one percent of the population. When schizophrenia is active, symptoms can include delusions, hallucinations, trouble with thinking and concentration, and lack of motivation. However, when these symptoms are treated, most people with schizophrenia will greatly improve over time.
While there is no cure for schizophrenia, research is leading to new, safer treatments. Experts also are unraveling the causes of the disease by studying genetics, conducting behavioral research, and by using advanced imaging to look at the brain’s structure and function. These approaches hold the promise of new, more effective therapies.
The complexity of schizophrenia may help explain why there are misconceptions about the disease. Schizophrenia does not mean split personality or multiple-personality. Most people with schizophrenia are not dangerous or violent. They also are not homeless nor do they live in hospitals. Most people with schizophrenia live with family, in group homes or on their own.
Research has shown that schizophrenia affects men and women about equally but may have an earlier onset in males. Rates are similar in all ethnic groups around the world. Schizophrenia is considered a group of disorders where causes and symptoms vary considerable between individuals.
Symptoms
When the disease is active, it can be characterized by episodes in which the patient is unable to distinguish between real and unreal experiences. As with any illness, the severity, duration and frequency of symptoms can vary; however, in persons with schizophrenia, the incidence of severe psychotic symptoms often decreases during a patient’s lifetime. Not taking medications as prescribed, use of alcohol or illicit drugs, and stressful situations tend to increase symptoms. Symptoms fall into several categories:
Symptoms usually first appear in early adulthood. Men often experience symptoms in their early 20s and women often first show signs in their late 20s and early 30s. More subtle signs may be present earlier, including troubled relationships, poor school performance and reduced motivation. It is rarely diagnosed in children or adolescents.
Before a diagnosis can be made, however, a psychiatrist should conduct a thorough medical examination to rule out substance misuse or other medical illnesses whose symptoms mimic schizophrenia.
Risk Factors
Researchers believe that a number of genetic and environmental factors contribute to causation, and life stresses may play a role in the disorder’s onset and course. Since multiple factors may contribute, scientists cannot yet be specific about the exact cause in individual cases. Since the term schizophrenia embraces several different disorders, variation in cause between cases is expected.
o Treatment
Recovery and Rehabilitation
Treatment can help many people with schizophrenia lead highly productive and rewarding lives. As with other chronic illnesses, some patients do extremely well while others continue to be symptomatic and need support and assistance.
After the symptoms of schizophrenia are controlled, various types of therapy can continue to help people manage the illness and improve their lives. Therapy and supports can help people learn social skills, cope with stress, identify early warning signs of relapse and prolong periods of remission. Because schizophrenia typically strikes in early adulthood, individuals with the disorder often benefit from rehabilitation to help develop life-management skills, complete vocational or educational training, and hold a job. For example, supported-employment programs have been found to help persons with schizophrenia obtain self-sufficiency. These programs provide people with severe mental illness with competitive jobs in the community.
Many people living with schizophrenia receive emotional and material support from their family. Therefore, it is important that families be provided with education, assistance and support. Such assistance has been shown to help prevent relapses and improve the overall mental health of the family members as well as the person with schizophrenia.
Living with Schizophrenia
Living with Schizophrenia
Optimism is important and patients, family members and mental health professionals need to be mindful that many patients have a favorable course of illness, that challenges can often be addressed, and that patients have many personal strengths that can be recognized and supported.
When you abuse alcohol, you continue to drink even though you know your drinking is causing problems. If you continue to abuse alcohol, it can lead to alcohol dependence. Alcohol dependence is also called alcoholism. You are physically or mentally addicted to alcohol. You have a strong need, or craving to drink.
You can click on our Free Alcohol Addiction Assessment tool to see if you may be alcohol-dependent.
However, please note the results of this self-assessment tool are not intended to constitute diagnosis and should be used solely as a guide to understanding your substance use and the potential health issues involved with it.
The information in this free assessment is not a substitute for a full evaluation by a health professional.
Click the button below to start the assessment.
*Note: This assessment will open up in your Facebook Messenger. When prompted, click ‘get started’ to begin the assessment.
• Diploma in Professional Counselling Supervision
• Certified Substance Abuse Therapist (CSAT level III)
• Professional Counselor Supervisor (Australian Counselling Association)
• National centre on substance abuse and child welfare.
• Sawangan Therapeutic Community (Malaysia)
• Yayasan Bangun Putra Bangsa Therapeutic Community (Indonesia)
• Community Chess Cape Town (Governance Development)
• Understanding Child welfare and Dependency Court
• Understanding Substance Use Disorders, Treatment and Family Recovery
Therapy may begin with interviews and initial screenings to assess a client’s condition and determine whether crisis counseling is needed. At this time, therapists learn the patient’s addiction history. An assessment is also performed on the patients’ family and significant others to ascertain the level of support they’ll have as they work through their alcohol or drug dependency issues.
A large part of an addiction therapist’s job is listening. They must be compassionate and provide their patients with non-judgmental support. Counselors conduct therapy sessions on a daily or weekly basis, as needed. Often, group therapy sessions are scheduled for patients, and sometimes their family members participate.
Counselors may make referrals for their patients if they are found to have deeper emotional problems. They can also implement treatment plans of their own, by utilizing varied mental health techniques. Addiction therapists may work in residential treatment facilities, hospitals and prisons, or they may have private practices.
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• Bachelor of Psychology with honors 2011-2014 University Malaysia Sabah
I have always been an achiever; be it academics or professional life or sports or any other field in my life. I believe in success through hard work and dedication. My motto in life is “If you want something, work hard and you will achieve it; there are no short cuts”. I enjoy life to the fullest and love humor. I am a progressive thinker and respect each person’s space and value.
Board Certified ABAARM
American Academy of Antiaging and Regenerative Medicine
Australian College Nutritional & Environmental Medicine
FACNEM, Nutritional & Environmental Medicine, 1995 – 2009
Activities and Societies: Fellow of the ACNEM
University of Auckland
BHB, Human Biology, 1985 – 1990
Activities and Societies: Mad Hatters Club
University of Auckland
MBChB, Medicine & Surgery, 1985 – 1990
Board Certified WOSAAM
American Academy of Antiaging Medicine
American Board of Antiaging & Regenerative
Medicine ABAARM
World Society of Antiaging Medicine WOSAAM
• Bachelor of Psychology, The University of North Carolina Wilmington – Magna
• Cum Laude (Honors) Master of Clinical Psychology Focusing in Substance Abuse
• Treatment, The University of North Carolina Wilmington – Summa Cum Laude
• (Honors) Licensed Clinical Addictions Specialist Associate – North Carolina
• Substance Abuse Professional Practice Board
• 9 month Internship program in Wilmington, North Carolina Governor’s
• Institute on Substance Abuse Scholarship Award
• CSATi (certified substance abuse therapist)
• Has more than 6 years experience in rehabilitation of substance abusers in Cape Town South Africa
• He completed a 18 month Internship program in Cape Town South Africa.
• Master of Counselling: 2017
• Courses in Concentration
• Bachelor of Information Technology (E-Commerce), 2013
• Matrikulasi (Matrikulasi), 2010